enough already

He was, at one time a nice guy. Some may have considered him a catch. I am watching him self destruct from a safe distance. I am in a bomb shelter- protected- nothing he does will harm me.
Yet I witmess his slow and painful downfall.
He is no longer permitted to see our- and by our I mean my husbands and mine- daughter. He helped in her creation yet he will never be her Daddy. As of this week and rumors of track marks emerge and suicide treats, he is no longer going to see her. As long as I can help it. She will forget him.
His mother is upset. His sisters are going to be angry that I will not interview to win him a free stay in rehab. I married him for the second time after his first stint in rehab. I thought he had changed. I personaly helped him through 3 other programs, two he lived in, one outpatient. I had two children in diapers to take care of while he dissappeared for days on end, after these supposed rehabilitations.
I just can't help anymore. I had held the towel to his nose when it bled rivers from his torment. I have forced him to eat. I went to the gym when he could no longer sexually maintain, thinking it was because I was too fat to stimulate him. I have protected my children from him- using my body as a shield. I have watched him induce wars on his own body that I cannot imagine ever waging on my own. I refuse to help anymore, he is not worth my effort.
I will not feel guilty about my decision. My husband, who had spent days repairing damage the first man did to me, says it is my choice. I tell him it is not just my choice. It is our choice, she is our daughter now, we are in this together. He agrees and hangs his head and tells me he never wants her to go there, he wishes we had kept her away sooner.
Yet I ask myself, am I being fair?
He is her genetic donor, should she know him for better or for worse? Do all parents ask themselves are they making the right choice for thier child?